This photo is from my first night in my new room. Same house, just a bigger room. I’ve settled in quite well and it took a while because I did a huge closet purge. I sized down my closet by more or less 50%. It broke my heart to let go of the archival American Apparel pieces that I valued so much but I don’t miss them because of all the space I have now.
I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’m serious about fashion. I used to just brush it off thinking it’s just a side thing but all my life I’ve paid so much attention to it. My love for clothes started out as a shopping addiction until I learned about the ethics and the history and how it intersects with so many things. I want to share this love with anyone who would care to listen. This love is what I want my content to manifest one day. I’ve been racking my brain lately thinking about what type of videos I want to create for my YouTube channel. When you’re a fashion youtuber, are lookbooks and favorites videos all there is? Sadly that’s become very boring to me. I want to do fashion/art/culture commentary but I’m not confident that I will be able to relay my thoughts properly. I worry about the validity of my thoughts too much.
Every day, I wake up thinking, “This is it. I’ll make a video/post today. I’ll do it,” but I never do. It’s been 5 months since my last vlog. It’s been 5 months of endless changes in my life. New job. New passion. New ideas. New room. New haircut. If I wait for my life to settle down before I post again, then I might never post again. I’ve accepted the fact that my twenties will be a period of constant changes and that the challenge is to document it as it happens rather than to wait it out.
PPS. I really want you to watch RIAN PHIN youtube videos!